Yes, You Need to Push Yourself In The Gym — But Here’s How to Know When and How Much

We love the grind, don’t we?

Push harder. Go longer. Lift heavier. Rest less. If you're not struggling, you're slacking. That's the unspoken belief a lot of people bring into the gym — and into life.

But let’s be clear about something:

Progress comes from challenge — not punishment.

You do need to push yourself. But how you do that matters more than most people realise. Because pushing blindly, with no regard for recovery, form, or readiness, won’t make you stronger. It will break you down.

And doing too little? That just keeps you spinning your wheels.

Let’s talk about the sweet spot. The place where you challenge your body, build your mind, and leave space for growth.

The Quiet Danger of Under-Pushing

Under-pushing often masquerades as consistency.

You show up. You check the boxes. You move through your workout like a to-do list. But there's no edge. No intentional challenge. No progression.

People fall into this rut for a few key reasons:

Lack of knowledge: They’re not sure how to progress safely or effectively. They don’t know when to add weight, when to adjust reps, or how to make their sessions more productive — so they stick with what they know.
Fear: Some folks are worried about injury, particularly if they've had one before. Others are afraid of failing — of looking like they’re struggling in front of others or not being "good" at something.
Avoidance of discomfort: Let’s face it — challenge is uncomfortable. And it’s human nature to avoid discomfort. But the comfort zone doesn’t lead to growth. It leads to stasis.

The problem is, if you stay there too long, you start mistaking motion for progress. You’re going through the motions, but you’re not actually building anything.

When It Becomes Too Much

On the flip side, over-pushing is just as common — and in many cases, even celebrated. It looks like commitment. It sounds like hustle. But it leads to pain, burnout, and plateaus.

Red Flags of Overreaching

Form breakdown in the name of completing reps or "leveling up"
Persistent DOMS that lasts more than a few days
Workouts that regularly interfere with daily life or sleep
Mood swings, irritability, or dreading the gym
Injury or recurring tweaks that never fully resolve

We say it often in our gym: "No ugly reps."

If you're grinding through a movement with compromised form just to say you finished it, you're not building strength — you're rehearsing injury.

A little soreness is fine. Especially during hypertrophy-focused training, some level of muscle fatigue is expected. But if you’re wrecked for a week, you went too hard.

Even strength-focused training (where you're staying a rep shy of failure) will leave you a bit sore sometimes, but it should leave you feeling used, not abused. Adaptation needs stress — but it also needs recovery.

What Pushing Yourself Actually Means

When we talk about "pushing yourself," we're not just talking about throwing more weight on the bar or doing more reps. We're talking about showing up and doing the work — even when it's hard, even when you're tired, even when you’re not sure you’ve got it in you.

But we're also talking about doing that work intelligently.

True progress happens in the zone between comfort and collapse. It's challenging enough that your body has to adapt, but not so punishing that it breaks down in the process.

At the same time you're pushing and developing your body, you're also strengthening your mind and your will.

"Recreational Hardship" Changes Your Life, Not Just Your Body

I first came across the term “Recreational Hardship” in an article from the folks at Mountain Tactical Institute (mtntactical.com), and it stuck with me. It perfectly captures the idea that the hard things we voluntarily take on in training — lifting heavy, grinding through conditioning, pushing past that mental “I want to quit” point — are a proving ground.

They're how we practise doing hard things when the stakes are low, so we’re more capable when the stakes are high.

Here’s the thing: if you’re always training inside your comfort zone, you’re not changing. You’re just rehearsing the same patterns. That might feel safe and easy — but you didn’t start this journey to stay the same, did you?

Your muscles need a stimulus to grow and adapt. So does your mind.

You want repeated, controlled exposure to challenge. Yes, sometimes you’ll struggle. You might even fail.

But when failure happens here — in training, in a space you chose — you learn that it’s not the end of the world. That it’s not fatal. That it doesn’t define you.

That lesson alone is worth the effort.

A Personal Story: The Deadlift Breakthrough

I’ll be honest: I used to hold myself back.

I had a long history of back issues, and the deadlift — especially with a barbell — freaked me out. Every time I gripped the bar, my brain screamed, "This is dangerous."

For months, I hovered around 200 pounds. I told myself it felt heavy. I told myself my back couldn’t handle it.

But with patient work on my hinge, reps with perfect form, and the support of a good coach, something shifted. I remember my coach saying:

"At some point the bar just feels heavy. The good news is, it feels just as heavy at 300 pounds as it does at 200. It sucks, but it doesn’t suck more."

That day, I pulled 285.

I hadn’t magically gotten stronger overnight. I just got out of my own way.

Eventually, I hit 425 pounds for a single rep. No belts. No straps. Just grit. That’s more than double my body weight at the time. And it never would’ve happened if I hadn’t learned to push.

(The video below isn’t my 425 pound PR which, sadly, I have no video of, but it’s the only video I have of me deadlifting!)

And Yeah... I’ve Overdone It Too

Of course, I’ve gone too far.

I’ve done so many push-ups that I couldn’t drink my morning coffee without propping my elbow on the counter.
I’ve barbell reverse lunged my legs into a week of toilet-hovering pain.
I’ve blasted my calves so hard on a stair workout that I waddled like a duck for 10 days.

It’s funny now — but those were lessons. They taught me where my edge was. And more importantly, how to flirt with it without tumbling over.

You don’t need to fall off the cliff to find your limit. But now and then, a near-miss teaches you a lot.

The Balance Point: Smart Progression

Smart training lives in the space between comfort and collapse. After learning lots of hard-earned lessons in my own training and over the years of working with my personal training clients, here's how I approach it now, and how I'd suggest you do it — with specific approaches depending on your goal / type of workout in the gym.

Hypertrophy Work

When training for muscle hypertrophy (muscle growth), the goal is mechanical tension and fatigue. That often means training close to — or even to — failure.

Suggested Sets/Reps: 4 working sets of 8–12 reps per exercise
Progression Strategy: Increase weight when you can complete two consecutive sets of 12 reps with clean form. On the final set, push to complete failure (the point at which you cannot execute a complete rep). If that last set ends up being significantly more than 12 reps, you know you can increase weight after (or maybe even for) your FIRST set next time instead of waiting for two consecutive, successful sets. Your final set establishes the baseline for your next workout.
Why This Works: Training to failure is especially effective in moderate rep ranges. This stimulates muscle fibre recruitment and growth without the excessive strain of low-rep max effort sets, or grinding away for super high reps with light weights.
Caution: DOMS is normal here, especially when introducing new exercises. But soreness should taper after 48–72 hours.
Don't sweat it if reps drop off: If you've found your genuine 12 rep max load for your opening set, you may see the number of clean reps you can do drop off as the sets go on. That's totally normal. You should see that improve over time, until you're able to complete two consecutive sets of 12 reps with that load, and then it's time to progress as outlined above.

Strength Work

For building strength, the approach shifts. The goal is high quality output — with just enough challenge to build neural and muscular adaptations without burning out.

Suggested Sets/Reps: 4 or more working sets of 4–6 reps at challenging loads
Progression Strategy: Leave 1–2 reps "in the tank" on your first three sets. If you hit 6 reps while keeping those 1-2 reps in reserve, increase the load for the next set. On your final set, push to technical failure (the point at which you cannot execute the rep with perfect form and consistent tempo). Your final set establishes the baseline for your next workout.
Why This Works: Strength requires volume and frequency without excessive fatigue. Stopping short of failure allows for more consistent training and better recovery.
Caution: Progress is slower but more sustainable. Gains come from small, steady increases — not hero lifts.

High-Intensity Interval Work

For high-intensity intervals, the game is about testing your edge — but not driving off the cliff.

Early Rotation Approach: In the first week or two of a typical 4-6 week training cycle, we focus on building technical proficiency, efficiency and confidence in the movements, and aim for about a 7 out of 10 for effort. As we build throughout the weeks, we start to push right up to the edge of work capacity — just shy of the fight-or-flight response. When people start to feel panicky, dizzy, or overwhelmed, we pull back. The goal is to adapt, not survive.
Finding the Edge: We track things like watts on the air bike, metres on the rower or ski erg, or reps in kettlebell and med ball complexes. These become benchmarks — and ways to track how much farther you can go without overreaching.
Progression Strategy: Increase reps, working time, or output. Decrease rest. Or both. The key is that it’s progressive — and intentional.
Final Week Push: In the last week of the rotation? We go for it. That might mean sending it for the last round of the last workout. Or it might mean a full-out effort across an entire session. It’s a controlled burn — one you’ve earned through the weeks of disciplined, strategic build-up.

The Big Idea

Progressions are earned, not given. You don’t level up because you survived a workout. You level up because you nailed it — with great form, full control, and consistent effort.

Some days, your 100% will feel like 60%. Or 20%. That’s TOTALLY OK. You work with what your body has on the day, back off if you need to, and push when you can.

You show up. You move. You listen. And when your body says, "Let’s go" — you go get it.

A Coaching Reminder

Struggle is good. Suffering is not.

Pushing your limits builds more than muscle. It teaches you:

How to stay calm under pressure
How to trust yourself in discomfort
How to bounce back when things don’t go to plan

These aren’t gym lessons. These are life lessons.

The key is to be honest with yourself. Some days, you need to chase the edge. Other days, you need to show up and just put in some work. And occasionally, you need to rest.

You don’t have to crush every workout. But you do need to engage with it. Bring intention. Bring curiosity. Bring effort.

That’s what builds capability. That’s what builds confidence.

And that’s what builds fitness that lasts.

Bottom line?

Yes, you need to push yourself.

But not to prove something. Not to punish yourself.

You push to practise.

You push to grow.

You push to prepare for the hard things you can’t control — by facing the ones you can.

That’s what training is for.