Train for the Life You Want, Not Just the Body You Miss
At some point, most people show up to a workout, a program, or a coach with the same story in their heads:
“I just want to lose a bit of weight.”
“I need to get back to where I was.”
“If I could just tighten up a few things, I’d feel so much better.”
And on the surface, those goals seem harmless. Sensible, even. Who doesn’t want to look and feel a bit better?
But here’s the problem:
Most people are training for the body they used to have — not the life they actually want.
They’re trying to “undo” years of aging, desk work, stress and softness with a few bursts of gym intensity per week. And when the scale doesn’t move fast enough, or they miss a workout, or life interrupts their plan, they feel like they’ve failed — again.
That approach leads to burnout. Or stagnation. Or both.
There’s a better way.
What Training for Life Really Means
When I talk about “training for the life you want,” I’m not talking about some abstract motivational slogan. I mean building a body that can carry you through the real, messy, active, joyful life you actually want to live.
It’s training for:
Enough energy to keep up with your kids or grandkids
The independence to travel, move house, do yard work, or renovate without help
The confidence to say “yes” to a last-minute hike or adventure without hesitation
The capability to be the person others turn to when something physical needs doing — not the one who sits out, watches, or worries they might get hurt
The quiet pride of knowing you’re strong, mobile, and prepared — not just “in shape,” but ready
And sure — if all that comes with a leaner, more athletic-looking body that makes you feel good naked too? Great. But the look should be the side effect, not the goal.
Because what most people really want isn’t just abs — it’s agency.
Where People Go Wrong: The Surface Goals Trap
Here’s what I see all the time in my gym:
People show up chasing the last 5-10 pounds. Or trying to outrun the weight gain that’s been creeping in over the last few years. Or hoping to balance out a mostly sedentary lifestyle by going hard for 45 minutes, 2 or 3 times a week.
And to be clear — those aren’t bad goals. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel a bit more in control of your health.
But those surface goals often lead to surface effort. And surface effort leads to surface results.
What happens next?
The program “stops working.”
They lose motivation.
They get bored.
They decide it’s just not worth it.
Why? Because deep down, they’re doing all this for reasons that don’t actually move them.
They’re training to undo something — instead of building toward something.
Train for the Life You Want — Here's What That Looks Like
When someone makes the mental shift away from “fixing” their body and toward building real capability, their training changes too.
Suddenly, it’s not about calories burned. It’s about what you’re building — and why.
Here’s what that shift looks like in action:
1. Less isolation, more integration
You stop obsessing over individual muscle groups and start focusing on how your body works as a system.
Less machine-based training, more free weights
Less preacher curls and leg extensions, more compound lifts
Less crunches, more 360° core work — rotation, anti-rotation, flexion, extension, stabilisation
Less posing, more purpose
2. More weird stuff
Seriously. The human body isn’t made to just move dumbbells and barbells in perfectly linear ranges. When you train for life, you start lifting, carrying, throwing, dragging — all the awkward, functional stuff that real life throws your way.
Sandbags, medicine balls, sleds
Weighted carries, get-ups, awkward lifts
Push, pull, twist, crawl, hang — movements that actually mean something
3. Mastery of movement — not just strength
Training for life means learning to move yourself as well as external loads.
Ground-based movement and getting up and down smoothly
Hanging from bars and reaching fully overhead
Push-ups instead of just bench pressing
MovNat- or GMB-style coordination drills and movement flows
Stability and control, not just force production
4. Cardio becomes activity, not punishment
Instead of cranking out miles on a treadmill or slogging away on a stationary bike, you get outside.
Hiking, running, rucking, walking — with purpose
Moving through real environments
Connecting not just with life, but with other people who value movement too
Using your fitness to experience your world, not escape from it
5. Training becomes lifestyle, not logistics
When you stop compartmentalising “fitness” into just what happens at the gym, you start to live differently.
Walk more — at lunch, in the evening, with friends
Take the stairs
Play, move, explore, sweat — not because you “should,” but because you can
You become “that fit friend” — not because of your six-pack, but because you live in motion
The Real ROI of Capability
Most people think training gives you muscle, or strength, or fat loss. And it can.
But when you train for the life you want, what you actually get is:
Confidence
Autonomy
Resilience
Pride
Energy
Peace of mind
You train to say “yes” more — to be the person others rely on, not the one who holds back.
You train to be strong enough to help someone move or carry your kid when they’re tired or climb a steep trail or say yes to the adventure.
You train so that when life asks, “Can you handle this?” — your body answers,
“Yeah. I’ve got this.”
And About Aesthetics? Here’s the Honest Truth
This isn’t about pretending looks don’t matter. It’s about helping you realise:
The best-looking version of you is the one who’s actually doing the work.
When you train frequently, move well, eat to fuel your performance, and live in a strong, mobile, capable body — a leaner, more confident physique tends to come along for the ride.
Because when you live like someone who’s meant to move, your body begins to reflect that.
So... How Do You Start?
Here’s what I’d tell someone who’s ready to shift from chasing a look to building a life:
Get clear on what you want your body to do.
Carry the groceries. Climb the hill. Hold the handstand. Run the Spartan Race. Lift your grandkids. Whatever it is — name it.Audit your current training honestly.
Are you actually training for those goals — or just doing what you’ve always done?Start building the movement patterns you’ve been avoiding.
Ground to standing, overhead reach, hanging, single-leg strength, rotation, awkward carries.Move more, every day.
Not just at the gym. Walk, climb, hike, squat, breathe. Create a life that requires — and rewards — your fitness.Let your body become the byproduct of a meaningful pursuit.
You don’t need to train to look good. Train to live well — and you’ll look better for it anyway.
Final Word: Train for What Comes Next
The life you want — the one where you say yes to the mountain, the trip, the project, the play, the challenge — isn’t waiting for your abs to show up.
It’s waiting for your capability to catch up to your desire.
So stop training to get your “old body” back.
Start training to become the person who’s ready for whatever’s next.
Because that version of you?
They’re not stuck in the past.
They’re building forward.
One strong, focused, intentional rep at a time.