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Why This Time Can Be Different (If You Let It Be)

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An autumnal park scene along Coach JP's road running route

A scene from one of my road runs during my Movember project

Why This Time Can Be Different (If You Let It Be)

There’s something about the turn of the year that invites reflection, whether we want it to or not.

As December winds down, we look back over the past twelve months and start quietly tallying things up. What went well. What didn’t. What slipped. What we meant to get to but never quite did. For many people, that reflection carries a familiar emotional mix: disappointment, frustration, and a stubborn little spark of hope that maybe next year could be better.

That hope is not the problem. Hope is human. Hope is often the reason people keep trying at all.

The problem is what usually happens next.

January arrives and that quiet hope gets swept up in a tidal wave of noise. “New Year, New You.” “Fresh start.” “This is your year.” The messaging is everywhere, and it carries an unspoken implication that if change is going to happen, it needs to happen now, fast, and decisively. No easing in. No half measures. No room for hesitation.

Over the years, working as a personal trainer since 2009 and a nutrition coach since 2010, I’ve watched this pattern repeat itself more times than I can count. People don’t lack motivation in January. If anything, they’re overflowing with it. They don’t lack information either. Most already know what they “should” be doing.

What they lack is a sustainable way to engage with change without burning themselves out.

By the time February rolls around, many are already carrying that familiar sense of failure. The thought creeps in quietly at first: “Here we go again.” Another January done. Another attempt that didn’t stick. Another mark against their own self trust.

This article isn’t about hype or motivation. It’s about understanding why past Januarys didn’t work, and why this one genuinely can be different, not because you’re more disciplined, but because you’re willing to approach it differently.

 

Why January So Often Breaks Down by Week Three

If there’s one pattern that shows up almost universally in January, it’s this: people go too hard, too soon.

That might look like jumping straight into a super strict diet with rigid rules, zero flexibility, and an expectation of near perfect adherence from day one. It might look like committing to high intensity exercise every single day, even if they haven’t trained consistently in months or years. Often, it’s both at once.

There’s a kind of manic energy to it. A hype and hope driven push fuelled by the belief that if they just apply enough force right out of the gate, everything will finally click into place.

For a short while, it can even feel good. The structure feels clean. The rules feel reassuring. The early scale changes or soreness from workouts feel like proof that something is happening.

But in my experience, the wheels usually start to wobble somewhere around week three. Sometimes people hang on a bit longer and limp into mid February, but the pattern is remarkably consistent.

On the diet side, the cracks tend to show up first as fatigue. The constant mental effort of strict adherence wears people down. Meal prep becomes a chore instead of a support. Social events start to feel like obstacles rather than parts of life. Eventually, there’s a moment, a meal, or a day that doesn’t go to plan.

That’s where things often unravel.

One indulgence turns into a spiral of self recrimination. “I’ve blown it.” The response is usually punishment, either by trying to restrict even harder or by mentally checking out altogether. The cycle repeats: restrict, break, blame, repeat.

On the exercise side, it’s either physical or practical. Some people push so hard that excessive soreness or injury sidelines them early. Others realise, often with a sinking feeling, that the all in approach simply doesn’t fit alongside work, family, and the rest of life. Something has to give, and training is usually the first thing to drop.

None of this happens because people are lazy or weak. It happens because the approach itself is fragile.

The Real Reason We Keep Repeating the Same January

To understand why this keeps happening, it helps to zoom out a little.

The end of the year naturally invites reflection. We think about who we want to be going forward. We imagine a better version of ourselves. That in itself is not a flaw. It’s a healthy impulse.

The trouble starts when that hope gets bundled together with unrealistic expectations of overnight change.

We see this in health and fitness, but also in business, careers, and personal development. We look at people who are successful now and mistake the visible moment for the whole story. We talk about “overnight success” without seeing the years, often decades, of quiet work, wrong turns, adjustments, and failures that came before it.

That distorted lens feeds impatience. It convinces us that if results don’t show up quickly, something is wrong. Worse, it convinces us that if we don’t go hard immediately, we’ll never get there at all.

Modern life doesn’t help. We’re conditioned to expect speed and gratification. When that expectation collides with the reality that meaningful change is slow and messy, many people internalise the gap as a personal failing. They start telling themselves stories about not being disciplined enough, not being cut out for it, or simply not being “that kind of person”.

The truth is far less dramatic and far more hopeful.

Nobody is that mythical person who changes everything smoothly, perfectly, and in a straight line. Nobody.

 

What This Pattern Actually Costs You

The most damaging part of this cycle isn’t the weight regain or the missed workouts. It’s what happens to self trust.

Each January attempt starts with an unrealistic expectation of what should be achievable. When that expectation inevitably collapses, the blame gets turned inward. Over time, those experiences accumulate and shape identity.

Mistakes stop being seen as part of the process and start being treated as evidence. Evidence that you can’t stick to things. Evidence that you always mess it up. Evidence that you shouldn’t even bother trying.

Once that identity takes hold, every small setback reinforces it. A missed workout becomes proof. An unplanned meal becomes confirmation. The spiral accelerates.

As a coach, I’ve seen this erode confidence far more deeply than any number on the scale ever could. People stop trusting themselves to follow through. They stop believing they can handle challenges without falling apart. That lack of trust becomes the real barrier to change.

Ironically, the harder people push at the start, the more brittle their confidence becomes. When everything hinges on perfection, there’s no room to recover when life does what life always does.

Two people running on a riverside gravel path with snow falling

A snowy run on the Rotary Trail in Chilliwack

The Shift That Actually Makes This Time Different

If this time is going to be different, the shift isn’t more effort. It’s approach.

The first real change is understanding and truly believing that mistakes and setbacks happen to everybody. Not just sometimes. Not just to beginners. To everybody.

Perfect is an illusion. Progress is not linear. If you go into January expecting smooth sailing, you’re quietly setting yourself up for failure. When something inevitably throws you off course, you’re more likely to dwell on it, amplify it, and spiral.

A more durable approach starts with planning for imperfection instead of pretending it won’t happen.

That doesn’t mean planning to fail. It means recognising reality and deciding ahead of time how you’ll respond when things don’t go perfectly. It means learning how to recover quickly and return to the path without drama or self punishment.

This is a very different mindset from the all or nothing thinking that dominates January, and it’s one I’ve written about before in more depth here:
https://www.btgfitness.com/blog/real-discipline-is-adaptable

 

This Isn’t Lowering Standards, It’s Choosing Better Discipline

Whenever this idea comes up, there’s a predictable objection.

“If I plan for mistakes, won’t I just be letting myself off the hook?”

I understand where that fear comes from. For many people, discipline has always meant forcing themselves to comply through sheer willpower. But that kind of discipline is fragile. It works right up until it doesn’t.

What I’m talking about is a different, more durable form of discipline. Think of it less like amping yourself up for one big heroic push, and more like steeling yourself for a long, uncomfortable journey.

Ultra endurance athletes don’t rely on hype. They rely on patience, adaptability, and the ability to keep moving forward when conditions change. That kind of discipline isn’t easy. If it were, everyone would do it. But it lasts.

Ryan Holiday captured this idea perfectly in a recent Daily Stoic reflection:

“The question isn’t whether you need help staying on course. We all do. The question is whether you’re wise enough, like Odysseus, to tie yourself to the mast.”

Real discipline isn’t about pretending you won’t struggle. It’s about building systems that help you stay the course when you do.

Icicles on the south side of McKee Peak

Icicles on the south side of McKee Peak

What Changes First When People Let Go of Urgency

One of the most interesting things I’ve noticed throughout my coaching career is how quickly things change when people let go of urgency.

The shift shows up before any visible results do.

There’s a calm determination that replaces the manic energy of past Januarys. People worry less about what should be happening by now and focus more on the overall trajectory. They talk less about what they’re doing, but they actually do things more consistently.

Comparison fades into the background. When someone knows they’re in it for the long haul, they stop scanning for shortcuts or measuring themselves against others. They’re less reactive, less dramatic, and far more resilient when life inevitably interferes.

It’s not flashy. It doesn’t make for good social media content. But it works.

 

Entering January Differently This Year

If you want this January to unfold differently, the most important question isn’t “What should I do?” It’s “What can I execute consistently with a high degree of confidence?”

I often encourage people to start by identifying what they’re nine or ten out of ten confident they can sustain. Not what they think they should be doing. Not what they wish they could do. What they know, realistically, they can show up for.

Start there. Let it become normal. When it no longer feels like effort, then build the next step.

This is what it looks like to arrive instead of rush. It’s what it looks like to enter a process without anxiety, knowing you don’t have to nail everything right away.

Different doesn’t mean harder. Calm beats control.

 

A Calm Next Step

If you’re ready to take that different approach into something structured, The Balanced Burn was built around this exact philosophy.

It doesn’t throw you straight into execution mode. It starts with giving you space to settle in, build awareness, and set a foundation that doesn’t rely on urgency or perfection.

To celebrate the launch of The Balanced Burn on our new platform, you can enrol using the NOMOREDIETS coupon for $200 off the program here:

https://btgfitness.thinkific.com/enroll/3553452?price_id=4484377?coupon=NOMOREDIETS

This is for people who are done repeating January and ready to do something different, calmly and deliberately.

Not Sure You’re Ready Yet?

If committing to a full program still feels like too much right now, that’s okay.

You can start by working through our free mini course, How Weight Loss Really Works. It’s designed to help you understand the fundamentals without pressure or urgency, and to give you a place to land while you figure out your next step.

You can sign up for that here:
https://btgfitness.thinkific.com/enroll/3625224?price_id=4564322

Scrabble letters that spell FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Below are answers to some common questions that come up when people start thinking about approaching January differently.

  • Most January attempts fail because they rely on urgency rather than sustainability. People start with overly strict diets or aggressive training schedules that demand perfect execution from day one. That approach can work briefly, but it leaves no margin for real life. When something slips, motivation drops, self trust erodes, and the entire plan often gets abandoned. What usually fails is not effort, it is the assumption that change needs to happen fast to be real.

  • Intensity itself is not the issue. The problem is using intensity as a substitute for a workable approach. Going all-in often ignores recovery, lifestyle constraints, and the time it takes for habits to stabilise. When the starting line feels like a sprint instead of a steady walk forward, most people burn through their energy before any meaningful adaptation can occur.

  • All-or-nothing thinking frames progress as either perfect or pointless. A missed workout or an unplanned meal becomes proof that the entire effort has failed. This mindset turns normal setbacks into reasons to stop, rather than moments to adjust and continue. Over time, it creates a cycle where people repeatedly restart instead of learning how to recover and move forward.

  • A helpful shift is learning to separate a single event from the overall pattern. One imperfect day does not undo weeks of consistent effort. Asking, “What is the next reasonable step I can take?” helps keep momentum intact. Over time, this builds resilience and makes progress less fragile.

  • Motivation naturally rises and falls, which makes it unreliable as a foundation. Discipline, when defined as having supportive routines and realistic defaults, tends to last longer. This kind of discipline is not about toughness or self punishment. It is about creating conditions that make follow-through easier even when enthusiasm is low.

  • The discipline that lasts is adaptable rather than rigid. It prioritises consistency over intensity and trajectory over immediate results. Instead of demanding perfection, it plans for disruption and focuses on returning to the path without drama. This approach may feel slower at first, but it is far more durable over time.

  • Missing time happens to everyone and does not erase previous progress. The key is avoiding the trap of waiting for perfect conditions to restart. Choosing one simple re-entry step and planning the next few actions helps prevent a short pause from turning into a full stop. Expecting things to feel a bit harder at first also reduces frustration.

  • Consistency improves when plans are built around real life rather than ideal weeks. This means choosing frequency and intensity levels you can maintain even during busy periods. Having flexible options, such as shorter sessions or lower intensity days, allows you to stay engaged instead of stopping entirely when stress increases.

  • Setbacks are a normal part of any long-term change process. Progress is rarely linear. When returning after a break, starting at a lower intensity and gradually rebuilding helps protect both physical capacity and confidence. Treating setbacks as information rather than failure makes it easier to stay engaged over the long term.

  • A more sustainable mindset treats health as an ongoing practice rather than a short-term fix. It expects imperfect weeks, slower progress, and changes in direction. Success is measured by consistency, adaptability, and quality of life rather than quick transformation. Letting go of urgency is often the first real shift that allows lasting change to take root.