Better Beats Perfect — Every Damn Time
There’s this idea — whether whispered by your inner critic or blasted at full volume across social media — that if you could just do things perfectly, everything in your life would finally fall into place.
You’d stick to your plan.
You’d stop self-sabotaging.
You’d get fit, sleep better, feel more present with your family.
You’d be confident, in control, and finally at peace.
But that idea — as enticing as it is — is a lie.
Perfection doesn’t solve your problems.
Perfection is the problem.
And chasing it? That’s what keeps most people stuck in a loop of stress, self-doubt, and disappointment.
Better beats perfect. Every. Damn. Time.
And not just in health and fitness — in your work, your relationships, your parenting, your mental health. In your life.
The Cost of Chasing Perfect
Trying to be perfect might feel noble… until it drains your energy and derails your progress.
It sounds like:
· “I’ll start eating healthy Monday — once I’m really ready to commit.”
· “If I can’t do my whole workout exactly as planned, there’s no point.”
· “I was doing great, but then I slipped up, so I guess I’m back at square one.”
It disguises itself as discipline.
As high standards.
As commitment to doing things “right.”
But here’s the truth: it’s not discipline. It’s fear.
Fear of judgement. Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough unless everything is flawless.
The irony? Perfectionism doesn’t prevent failure. It guarantees it.
Because when you hold yourself to an impossible standard, even small setbacks feel catastrophic.
So you fall off track. Again.
And each time, it gets harder to trust yourself to get back on.
My Story: Paralysis and Progress
This isn’t just theory. I’ve lived it.
For years, I told myself I’d write a book. I knew I had something to say. But the fear of not saying it perfectly kept me frozen.
What if it wasn’t good enough?
What if people judged it?
What if I judged it?
So I didn’t start. Or I started, then deleted. Over and over.
Until one day I stopped chasing the idea of writing the perfect book… and just started writing a book.
Not flawless. Not revolutionary. But done. Finished. Published.
That book — imperfect and all — helped real people. And it helped me realise that done is better than perfect isn’t just a catchy quote. It’s a lifeline.
Why Perfect Feels So Safe (But Isn’t)
Perfection offers the illusion of safety.
“If I get everything just right, nothing can go wrong.”
“If I follow the plan perfectly, I’ll get the result.”
“If I perform perfectly, I’ll be worthy.”
But perfect is a trap. Because perfect is a moving target.
As you get closer to it, your definition shifts. You find new flaws. New ways to improve. New reasons to believe you're still falling short.
And the result?
You don’t feel more successful. You feel more anxious. More frustrated. More ashamed.
Perfectionism doesn’t make you better. It makes you afraid to start. Afraid to fail. And ironically, afraid to succeed — because success means you now have something to lose.
Where It Comes From (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
Part of this mindset is baked into our culture.
We’re surrounded by curated images of perfection:
· Flawless bodies on social media
· Executives crushing 5am workouts and 80-hour work weeks
· Parents running triathlons and bento-boxing their kids’ lunches
We’re constantly comparing our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.
If you’re someone who’s already high-performing in other areas — maybe a business owner, a senior leader, a dedicated parent — it’s easy to feel like if you’re not excelling in all areas, you’re failing.
We unpacked this more in High Performer, Harsh Critic, and it’s worth revisiting. That mindset of “If I can do this there, why can’t I do it everywhere?” becomes a self-blame spiral.
But here’s the thing:
Being exceptional in one area doesn’t require you to be exceptional in all of them.
You’re allowed to be a work in progress. In fact, you already are — whether you admit it or not.
How “Perfect” Backfires
Most people believe if they can just nail it — do the perfect plan, stick to the perfect diet, follow the perfect schedule — their problems will finally go away.
That once they reach some magical point of perfect, they’ll coast. They’ll finally feel ease. Contentment. Joy.
But what actually happens?
They burn out.
They beat themselves up.
They isolate.
They disconnect from their own lives — skipping social events, avoiding spontaneity, obsessively micromanaging every choice — all in the name of getting it just right.
And when something inevitably goes wrong? They fall apart. Because the system they’ve built only works if life goes exactly as planned. (Which it never does.)
Better Builds Momentum
Let’s talk about better.
· Better is a scoop of ice cream enjoyed mindfully instead of a tub eaten in shame.
· Better is getting 20 minutes of movement on a stressful day instead of skipping entirely.
· Better is prepping three healthy meals for the week instead of none.
· Better is saying “I’m not at my best today, but I’m still showing up.”
Better creates a win.
And enough wins stacked over time? That builds momentum.
That’s how real change happens.
Better doesn’t mean settling.
It means progressing.
It means being honest about where you’re at, what you need, and what you’re capable of today — and doing that, consistently.
Why This Matters Beyond Fitness
Let’s zoom out.
This isn’t just about whether you meal-prepped this week or hit your training targets.
This is about how you live your life.
When you let go of perfection:
· You become less reactive and more present.
· You stop obsessing over control and start engaging with what’s in front of you.
· You become more forgiving — of yourself and others.
· You sleep better. Feel more energy. Enjoy your relationships more.
· You open up to new experiences, because you’re no longer scared of “not doing it right.”
Letting go of perfect creates mental space — which allows you to connect more deeply, work more creatively, love more freely, and actually enjoy being alive.
That’s no small thing.
Coaching Insight: Where to Start
When a client is stuck in perfectionism, here’s what I ask:
“What’s one thing you feel at least 8/10 confident you can do better, starting today?”
Not perfect. Not ideal. Just better.
That might be:
· Pausing full food tracking to focus solely on protein — using palm-sized portions to simplify without sacrificing structure
· Prepping veggies for the week, even if you don’t prep all your meals
· Going for a 10-minute walk after dinner
· Swapping “nothing” for “something” on days when life’s a mess
Another useful strategy?
Build a middle-ground choice into your decision-making.
Instead of swinging from “no ice cream ever” to “entire pint on the couch,” consider the middle: go out, enjoy a scoop of the good stuff, and move on. That’s a BETTER choice. A conscious choice. A choice that lets you enjoy life and move forward.
You can also apply this to your work:
· Instead of endlessly tweaking that project proposal, send it.
· Instead of shelving the idea until it’s perfect, write the blog post.
· Instead of waiting for the “right” time, start now.
The Long Game
What happens when you do this consistently?
Your definition of “better” evolves.
Your small actions add up. Your consistency builds trust — in yourself, in your process, in your ability to show up without burning out.
You start to enjoy the journey.
You start to notice progress.
You stop quitting.
You stop starting over.
You stop beating yourself up.
And bit by bit, your better becomes your new normal, and your new better takes you even further!
There was this kids' ballet DVD that my kids used to watch all the time when they were little called "Bella Dancerella". I am still haunted by the sing-songy music, and the weirdly creepy monkey puppet, but one line from the show always sticks with me that I think is applicable here. (You can imagine this in the voice of a teenaged, Australian ballerina with a STRONG accent and strict enunciation of consonants if you want the full experience...that’s how me and the kids always say it - LOL).
"Practice, practice, practice, and never let it rest, until your GOOD is BETTER, and your BETTER is BEST!"
Final Word: Better, More Often
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
Fuck perfect.
Perfect is an illusion. It's a constantly retreating mirage that will leave you dying of thirst in the desert.
But better – better is real.
Better is doable.
Better is momentum.
Better is peace.
You don’t need to be always perfect, all the time. You need to be better, more often.
That’s what builds progress.
That’s what builds resilience.
That’s what builds a life that feels good to live.
Let’s build that together.